On Service

Four guys in heaven were arguing one day, and St. Peter asked what they were arguing about.
One responded, “We were arguing about what branch of the service was best.”St. Peter said he would pose the question to God, and God would publish a memo in about a week.

A while later a memo arrived. The text of the memo said that God had been asked what service branch was the best. God replied as follows:

“All branches of service served with dignity and honor. All members of all of the services served with dignity and honor. All branches of service are held in high esteem.”


USAF Retired

Marital Miranda Rights

A husband and wife were having an argument in their kitchen. Voice were raised in shouts, plates were being thrown, and he had just accused her of being unfaithful claiming that rather than going to her Mother’s she was probably going to some club with her friend.

The woman’s best friend arrived to pick her up and take her to her mother’s house. The friend was a cop, and knew that if she did not intervene, she was going to have to arrest one or both people, and likely take someone to the hospital. Through the window, she saw the husband lift his hand in an angry gesture, and she yelled freeze.

As she walked in to the house, she told the wife to go into the bedroom and wait for her. The husband turned on her in anger, and she placed her hand on her gun, saying the first things that popped into her mind:

“You have the right to shut up. If you choose to keep talking, anything you say can and most likely will be taken out of context and misquoted in a this and all future arguments with your spouse before, during, and after the divorce trial. You have the right to an attorney, although it won’t do you any good. If you cannot afford a good attorney, you will be requested and required to pay spousal support, child support, rehabilitative support to cover all costs of moving on after she dumps your sorry ass and reimbursement support for the trips to the Bahamas with her new lover…Xavier.”

The wife receive half of his assets and he gets to see his children on alternating weekends.

The Pink Dress

There was this little girl sitting by herself in the park. People passed by her and never stopped to see why she looked so sad. Dressed in a worn pink dress, barefoot and dirty, the girl just sat And watched the people go by. She never tried to speak. She never said a word. Many people passed by her, but no one would stop.

The next day I decided to go back to the park in curiosity to see If the little girl would still be there. Yes, she was there, right in the very spot where she was Yesterday, and still with the same sad look in her eyes. Today I was to make my own move and walk over to the little girl. For as we all know, a park full of strange people is not a place For young children to play alone.

As I got closer I could see the back of the little girl’s dress. It was grotesquely shaped. I figured that was the reason people just passed by and made no Effort to speak to her. Deformities are a low blow to our society and, heaven forbid if You make a step toward assisting someone who is different. As I got closer, the little girl lowered her eyes slightly to Avoid my intent stare. As I approached her, I could see the shape of her back more clearly. She was grotesquely shaped in a humped over form. I smiled to let her know it was OK; I was there to help, to talk.

I sat down beside her and opened with a simple, “Hello.” The little girl acted shocked, and stammered a “hi “; after a long Stare into my eyes. I smiled and she shyly smiled back. We talked until darkness fell and the park was completely empty. I asked the girl why ! she was so sad. The little girl looked at me with a sad face said, “Because, I’m Different.” I immediately said, “That you are!”; and smiled. The little girl acted even sadder and said, “I know.” “Little girl,” I said, “you remind me of an angel, sweet and innocent.” She looked at me and smiled, then slowly she got to her feet and Said, “Really?” “Yes, you’re like a little Guardian Angel sent to watch over all the people walking by.” She nodded her head yes, and smiled.

With that she opened the back of her pink dress and allowed her Wings to spread, then she said “I am.” “I’m your Guardian Angel,” with a twinkle in her eye. I was speechless — sure I was seeing things. She said, “For once you thought of someone other than yourself. My job here is done”.. I got to my feet and said, “Wait, why did no one stop to help an Angel?” She looked at me, smiled, and said, “You’re the only one that Could see me,” and then she was gone. And with that, my life was changed dramatically.

So, when you think you’re all you have, remember, your angel is Always watching over you.

The Mousetrap

A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package. “What food might this contain?” the mouse wondered. He was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.


After silently retreating to the barnyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning: “There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!” He figured he was doing a valuable public service.


The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said “Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it.”

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Heidemarie Schwermer Has Been Moneyless For 16 Years

Heidemarie Schwermer, a 69-year-old German woman, has been living without money for nearly 16 years and is reportedly much happier because of it, as is documented in the film “Living Without Money”.

How does she do it? For food, Schwermer barters a few hours of hard labor cleaning and gardening in exchange for food. For shelter, she wanders from place to place offering small services for a bed and sometimes she relies on the hospitality of people she meets along the way. She occasionally receives clothing from friends, but gives away anything that’s too burdensome to carry around.

Read more on the Huffington Post: Living Without Money

An RVAMaverick creation.

The Hunger Games

The Hunger Games takes place in a futuristic nation known as Panem, after the destruction of the North American continent by some unexplained apocalyptic event. Panem consists of a wealthy Capitol and twelve underprivileged districts under the Capitol’s control. District 12, where the book begins, is located in the coal-rich region that was formerly Appalachia. The games themselves take place in arenas designed to put man against nature. Man, in this case is our protagonist, Catnis Aberdeen, and her steamy contrived loved interest Peeta mellark.

Catnis is a brash tomboy who has never known love before. She steps up to partake in the games to save her little sister from a fait that might lead to death. her attitude gets in her way, but all in all she’s a good hearted girl who comes of age in a hard and fast paced storey. Granted she’s a victor of the games, but she’s still learning what love is.

Peeta is a self-effacing boy who is just finding himself when he is tossed into his own version of hell on Earth. The first kick in the balls for him comes when he finds that the girl who is to be his partner in the games is Catnis, the poor sweet girl he’s had a crush on from his childhood. Peeta falls deeper in love with her and does his damndest to keep Catnis alive throughout the story. He is subject to blood poisoning, sword wounds, and some minor asphyxiation at the hands of a bad guy, but he comes out loving his woman and with her help a co victor of the games.

The only other character worth mentioning from the story is Rue. Rue is a sweet girl who makes a major impact on Catnis, and dies at the hands of power hungry players. Catnis avenges Rue’s killer and sings Rue to her final rest. Catnis is royally pissed off at the loss of such a good player, and as a reader, I was as well.
overall the story was good. There were parts, dear reader, where I was angry and swearing a blue streak at the manipulations of the players like chessmen on a board. however, I think Suzanne Collins, the author, did a good job telling the story. The story itself was all kinds of fucked up, and had a weird ending, but the overall walk away feeling I had was of satisfaction at a good suspense adventure love story.

Read it for yourselves. Trust me, it is a few hours that you will not regret.

An RVAMaverick creation.

Barbie in the Window

One day a father gets off from work, and suddenly remember’s its his daughter’s birthday. He pull’s in at a toy store, walk’s in and asks the sales lady, “How much for one of those Barbie’s in the display window?”

The sales lady replies, “Which one do you mean, sir? We have Workout Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie… for $265.95.”

The amazed father replies, “IT’S WHAT?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and all the other Barbie’s $19.95?”

The annoyed sales lady roll’s her eye’s and replies, “Sir…, Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture, one of Ken’s friend’s, and a keychain made with Ken’s private parts!

An RVAMaverick creation.

An exam cram time storey.

Twas the night before finals,
And all through the college,
The students were praying
For last minute knowledge.

Most were quite sleepy,
But none touched their beds,
While visions of essays
Danced in their heads.

Out in the sports field,
There were some throwing,
In hope that some exercise
Would get their brains going.

In my own apartment,
I had been pacing,
Dreading all those exams
I soon would be facing.

My roommate was speechless,
His nose in his books,
And my comments to him
Drew unfriendly looks.

I drained all the coffee,
And brewed a new pot,
No longer caring
That my nerves were shot.

I stared at my notes,
But my thoughts were all muddy,
My eyes went a blur,
I just couldn’t study.

“Some pizza might help,”
I said with a shiver,
But each place I called
Refused to deliver.

I’d pretty much concluded
Life is unfair and cruel,
Since our futures all depend
On grades made in school.

When all of a sudden,
Our door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put-It-Off
Ambled inside.

Her spirit was careless,
Her manner was mellow,
She looked at the mess
And started to bellow:

“Why should us students
Make such a fuss,
About what those teachers
Toss out to us?”

“On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes!
On Last Year’s Exams!
On Wingit and Slingit,
And Last Minute Crams!”

Her message delivered,
She vanished from sight,
But we heard her laughing
Outside in the night.

“Your teachers won’t flunk you,
So just do your best.
Happy Finals to All,
And to All, a good test.”

An RVAMaverick creation.

I Died Today

You got tired of me and took me to the shelter. They were overcrowded and I drew an unlucky number. I am in a black plastic bag in a landfill now. Some other puppy will get the barely used leash you left. My collar was dirty & too small, but the lady took it off before she sent me to the Rainbow Bridge.

Would I still be at home if I hadn’t chewed your shoe? I didn’t know what it was, but it was leather, and it was on the floor. I was just playing.

You forgot to get puppy toys. Would I still be at home if I had been housebroken? Rubbing my nose in what I did only made me ashamed that I had to go at all. There are books & obedience teachers that would have taught you how to teach me to go to the door.

Would I still be at home if I hadn’t brought fleas into the house? Without ant -flea medicine, I couldn’t get them off of me after you left me in the yard for days. Would I still be at home if I hadn’t barked? I was only saying, “I’m scared, I’m lonely, I’m here, I’m here! I want to be your best friend.”

Would I still be at home if I had made you happy? Hitting me didn’t make me learn how.

Would I still be at home if you had taken the time to care for me & to teach manners to me? You didn’t pay attention to me after the first week or so, but I spent all my time waiting for you to love me.

I died today.

Love, Your Puppy …

An RVAMaverick creation.