During this pandemic quarantine I have had a lot of time to think. Some of my thoughts have been dark and not worthy of sharing with the world, but some are pretty funny. The hard part for me was getting them together in a list.
One of my friends posted a list and damned if they aren’t everything I’ve been thinking. So I present, the stolen list. And no I don’t feel bad about sharing it as she stole it herself.
- So let me get this straight, there’s no cure for a virus that can be killed by hand sanitizer and soap?
- Is it too early to put up the Christmas tree yet? I have run out of things to do.
- When this virus thing is over, I still want some of you to stay away from me.
- If these last months have taught us anything, it’s that stupidity travels faster than any virus on the planet.
- Hold up – so what you’re telling me is that my chance of surviving all this is directly linked to the common sense of others? You’re kidding, right?
- If you believe all this will end and we will get back to normal just because we reopen everything, raise your hand. Now slap yourself with it. Twice!
- Another Saturday night in the house and I just realized the trash goes out more than me.
- Whoever decided a liquor store is more essential than a hair salon is obviously a bald-headed alcoholic.
- Remember when you were little and all your underwear had the days of the week on them. Those would be helpful right now.
- Remember all those times when you wished the weekend would last forever? Well, wish granted. Happy now?
- It may take a village to raise a child, but I swear it’s going to take a whole vineyard to home school one.
Look, I know I’m not the only person thinking it.
It just took someone else to write it, and then a few someones on social media to share it.