The pastor of a small church entered his donkey in a race and it won.  The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in another Race a few weeks later, and it won again.  The local paper read: PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this sort of publicity that he told the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.  The pastor, following the orders of his Bishop contacted the stables informing them of the changes. The next day, the local paper headline read:  BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS.

This was way too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of it.  The pastor decided that he would give the donkey to a nun in a nearby convent.  The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:  NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

 The bishop fainted. After recovering, he informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer  for $10.  The next day the paper read:  NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.  The next day the headlines read:  NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story: being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery. It can even shorten your life. Be yourself and enjoy life.

In other words: Stop worrying about everyone else’s ass and you’ll be a lot happier and live longer!