I present for your amusement, a quick lesson in human geography. The process is simple, as we age, our bodies tend to represent the various parts of the world we live in. It is better to know where in the world you are going as you grow older, so that you are prepared when you get there.

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN:

• Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa – half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!
• Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe – well-developed and open to trade, especially for something of real value.
• Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain – very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.
• Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece – gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
• Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain – talented and self-assured, with a regal, glorious and all-conquering past.
• Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel – has been through war, knows how to protect herself, doesn’t make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.
• Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada – cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
• After 70, she becomes Tibet – wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages … an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN:

• Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran – ruled by a couple of nuts.

Special Thanks to Quincy Sparrow for his help on this list. He is indeed rockstar material. Quincy is available on Twitter at @21JumpST. When he’s not actively thinking about doughnuts or world domination, he Tweets good thought provoking one-liners.